Daryl wrote --

There was only one problem...they scheduled it for MEMPHIS and NOT for LITTLE ROCK.

Last year I reserved a car from Enterprise for my summer road trip.
I use one place about a mile from from my apartment and when I got there
it was closed, due to Covid.
Went to another one about a mile or some there in the other direction and they had nothing in their system for the car.
These are all tied together by computer and should have been pulled up on
any computer. In '19 when I had car trouble where ever I was that place had the information on hand.
We had four Enterprise places here, down to three now since that one
place is still closed and may not re-open, since it was the smaller of the four.

and as "compensation", they'll install 2 new wiper blades for no charge.

Whoopee do.

I bought a new car. But, it takes 8 to 10 weeks for the State Of Arkansas

--snip--

I have to wonder if there's only 1 person doing the work for 75 counties.

No one in government moves any faster than they absolutely have to.

So, I have to go back to the dealership before March 11, to get a new temporary tag. With my luck, I'd get pulled over and ticketed for driving on expired temporary tags...I see these all the time.

When I sold cars a couple of lifetimes ago (1976-78) it was just filling
out a form for a new temp tag, or a renewed one for some reason.
But I saw cars with months old expired plates all the time when in
parking. Cops around here seldom stop anyone for that. It was more a secondary
offence.
Joe
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Joe,

We had four Enterprise places here, down to three now since that one place is still closed and may not re-open, since it was the smaller of
the four.

I think most, if not all in the Little Rock area, have shut down. I have
not seen one in a long time. There might be one out at Little Rock National Airport (better known at the Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport). I'm not sure if there's an office for Monica Lewinsky out there...and I've never been to the Clinton Presidential Library in the River Market (the school of public service is in the former Rock Island Railroad Passenger Station). However, I have not flown in a long time, and have no plans to travel
outside of central Arkansas anymore.

and as "compensation", they'll install 2 new wiper blades for no charge.

Whoopee do.

They're giving the wipers to me, as it'd normally cost nearly $20 each, without installation. Normally, you'd expect a labor fee for installation,
so I'm getting 2 new wipers and installation for nothing. To me, free is
good.

No one in government moves any faster than they absolutely have to.

And while the populace screams "throw the bums out", they still vote the
same idiots back in. It makes as much sense as tits on a boar hog (as my
late barber noted). Before the election, the politicians give us "the
thumbs up". After they're voted in, they give us "the bird". :P

But I saw cars with months old expired plates all the time when in parking. Cops around here seldom stop anyone for that. It was more a secondary offence.

It'd be my luck that they'd get me. If they need money for their ticket quota, they'll do it.

Daryl

... ESC?? I didn't know I was trapped.
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Daryl wrote --

There might be one out at Little Rock National Airport

I've not been to the airport here in years, no need to.
When last there around '03, I guess, there were several car rental places that had no in/near town offices.

They're giving the wipers to me, as it'd normally cost nearly $20 each,

The last time I brought wipers they were like $5. Of course that was
over 30 years ago.
One thing I can't understand about modern wipers.
You have some big car, like a Hummer, with dinky little wipers on it.
But little death trap has huge industrial strength wipers.

And while the populace screams "throw the bums out", they still vote the same idiots back in.

I had a discussion along those lines with a former super (I was temping then) and said his condition the same now as it had been for years and the
same people claim they will do something different and never do and why continue to vote for them?
He had no good reply, just he had always voted that way and worried
about voting differently.
One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over hoping
for a different result.

It makes as much sense as tits on a boar hog

How boar phobic! Or something like that. :)

It'd be my luck that they'd get me. If they need money for their ticket quota, they'll do it.

Actually that did happen to me once.
Its a long story but I was pulled over in Ohio going to visit my mother
in a nursing home and waiting for my tax refund to renewal my license and
all.
Had to go to mayors court in this small town.
Everyone who went before the five person panel before me was found
guilty. If you got a citation it was because you were guilty in first place.
By now I had gotten up to date and my fine was slightly reduced.
Later on a local call in show people told stories of dealing with these people. The upshot was if one paid by cheque it was never cashed. The "judges" divided all the cash among themselves and pocketed it.
Ah, small town politics, ya gotta love it.
Joe
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Joe,

I've not been to the airport here in years, no need to.
When last there around '03, I guess, there were several car rental places that had no in/near town offices.

Years ago, my mother-in-law had to get rescanned at the TSA checkpoint
at Orlando International Airport, and get patted down as well. She was
making all these orgiastic noises during it. She told me, then I told my
wife, who let out a scream, and put her hand over her mouth. The next
day, she said to her Mom "I hear you've been getting kinky with security!!". Her Mom asked "Who told you?? Daryl??"...and she said "Who else??!!".

I was over in the corner laughing (she was on speaker phone), and my
wife looked at me, and gave me the same reaction when I forgot to put
the toilet seat back down...she spit at me like a mad cat. <G>

The last time I brought wipers they were like $5. Of course that was over 30 years ago.

Everything was cheaper back then. The cheapest I remember seeing gasoline
was in south Florida in the late 1960's...at 24.9 cents a gallon.

You have some big car, like a Hummer, with dinky little wipers on it. But little death trap has huge industrial strength wipers.

The worst part is when you run into a swarm of insects, and it smears up
the windshield when you try to clean them off.

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over
hoping for a different result.

History teaches us that man learns nothing from history.

It makes as much sense as tits on a boar hog

How boar phobic! Or something like that. :)

Those boar hogs can be pretty mean. The hog mascot for the Arkansas Razorbacks, named "Tusk" has one heck of a temper.

Everyone who went before the five person panel before me was found guilty. If you got a citation it was because you were guilty in first place.

Sounds like the episode in "I Dream Of Jeannie", where Tony Nelson only SLIGHTLY bumped a car, and the folks in it made it like he had plowed into them. Well, toward the end, Jeannie blinked and the "injured guy in the wheelchair" rolled ahead, and when he stood up, all the bandages fell off.
His lawyers said to the judge "Your Honor, I swear I had no idea on this!!", and the judge said "Aw, shucks, Henry...we can't win 'em all". <G>

Ah, small town politics, ya gotta love it.

Remind me never to visit those areas. :P

Daryl

... Failure is not an option. It comes shipped with Windows.
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Daryl wrote --

at Orlando International Airport, and get patted down as well. She was
making all these orgiastic noises during it.

Sounds like something I would do. :)

Everything was cheaper back then. The cheapest I remember seeing gasoline was in south Florida in the late 1960's...at 24.9 cents a gallon.

Cheapest I remember was a "U-Pump-it" station in Colorado in 1968, it was
25 cents as well.
They had two (maybe four) pumps where you used 25 and 50 cent tokens you
got from an attendant in a booth.
If you used less than you paid for you either ate that amount or sold it
to another motorist in line, if there was one.
When I re-visited a couple of years ago there was still a gas station
there, only larger.

toward the end, Jeannie blinked and the "injured guy in the
wheelchair" rolled ahead, and when he stood up, all the bandages fell off. His lawyers said to the judge "Your Honor, I swear I had no idea on this!!",

In 1978 I was selling Cadillac's and a older salesman came in one Monday morning in a neck brace, saying he had been rear-ended over the weekend.
(His demo had no bumper damage I could see).
Time passes and the day of the trial arrives. Leonard is still in the
brace.
That afternoon he returns to work, sans brace.
People asked what happened and he said he they lost the case.
A few hours later he gets a phone call, pulls the brace out of a desk
drawer and puts it back on.
When asked why he said his lawyer was appealing.
True story.
No idea the out come of that, I left the business before then.
Joe
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Joe,

at Orlando International Airport, and get patted down as well. She was making all these orgiastic noises during it.

Sounds like something I would do. :)

Well, dirty old moderators need love, too. <G>

Everything was cheaper back then. The cheapest I remember seeing gasoline

wa

s in south Florida in the late 1960's...at 24.9 cents a gallon.

Cheapest I remember was a "U-Pump-it" station in Colorado in 1968, it was 25 cents as well.

What I would've loved to have done, was when the gas was at $1.15 a gallon, and had $1 off in discounts...to make it 15 cents a gallon. I would've taken
a picture of that before filling up, and it surely would've gone viral. <G>

They had two (maybe four) pumps where you used 25 and 50 cent tokens
you got from an attendant in a booth.
If you used less than you paid for you either ate that amount or sold
it to another motorist in line, if there was one.

Never heard of that method. Originally at these arcade places, you used quarters for pinball machines or video games. But later, they switched to tokens. I haven't played pinball in ages. My favorite games were Paragon,
Space Invaders, Silverball Mania, Xenon, and The Black Knight, among others (now there's a topic for memories -- there's an actual website on the
history of pinball machines).

When I re-visited a couple of years ago there was still a gas station there, only larger.

What brand was it?? Next to a liquor store in midtown Little Rock is the
old Sinclair gas station sign. I think that place was a Sinclair gas station (with the dinosaur) years ago.

toward the end, Jeannie blinked and the "injured guy in the
wheelchair" rolled ahead, and when he stood up, all the bandages fell off. His lawyers said to the judge "Your Honor, I swear I had no idea on this!!",

A few hours later he gets a phone call, pulls the brace out of a desk drawer and puts it back on.
When asked why he said his lawyer was appealing.

I think of the joke where these 2 HVAC guys were sent to Hell by mistake. When St. Peter calls Satan, the devil is grateful (how ironic!!) for him
being sent those 2 guys...who have put central heat and air in Hades, but
it's now comfortable.

St. Peter demands Satan send those 2 guys back, and threatens to sue
him if he doesn't. To which, Satan replies "Where are you going to get a lawyer??" <G>.

I heard of another guy who was attending Baylor University in Waco, Texas.
He was originally going to become an attorney, but changed his major...
because "he couldn't live with the idea of constantly lying".

Another joke had this guy trying to sell this "talking dog". Another man, inquires about that, and the dog begins to sobbingly speak about how cruel
his "master" is. The other man asks him why he wants to sell a dog like
this, and he replies "Because I'm fed up with his constant lying". <G>

Yet another joke has the church pastor saying that next Sunday's sermon
will cover the sin of lying (bearing false witness, aka the 9th commandment). He tells the congregation he wants them to study the book of Mark, chapter
17. So, next week arrives, and the pastor asks how many studied Mark 17.
Every hand went up, and the pastor said "You're exactly the people I want
to talk to. There is NO 17th chapter of Mark". <BUSTED!>. <G>

Another man was asked if he had trouble lying, and he replied "No, I lie quite well, thank you". <G>

And of course, "Never believe anything until officially denied"...
from Washington, DC -- known as "America's work free drug place". <G>

I'd be lying if I told you I had planned this reply before I read this message <g,d,r>.

Daryl

... I'm not a lunatic. I just found this straightjacket.
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Daryl wrote --

When I re-visited a couple of years ago there was still a gas station there, only larger.

What brand was it??

I have no idea.

Next to a liquor store in midtown Little Rock is the
old Sinclair gas station sign. I think that place was a Sinclair gas station (with the dinosaur) years ago.

On the way to one of my posts is an old Sinclair station, now some sort
of garage. Dino the dinosaur is gone though.
There are other places re-purposed around town.
A former Esso station is an office of some sort.
A brand I can't recall is a doctors office.
Another is a discount tyre place.
A old Philips 66 looks the same, even the name is still inlaid in tile
on a wall.
These old gas stations offered room inside and plenty of space for
parking. Just a little remodeling and one is in business.

Another man was asked if he had trouble lying, and he replied "No, I lie quite well, thank you". <G>

Are you bothered by impure thoughts my son, a priest asked a teen-aged
boy in his congregation. Oh no, Father, the boy replied, I rather enjoy them.
Joe
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Joe,

There are other places re-purposed around town.

Former railroad stations around here have been repurposed for other things... and they may or may not still have tracks by them (especially if the line was abandoned, like the former Rock Island (hard to believe it has been 41 years since it went bankrupt). I've noted the cities, and what railroads they were under at the time.

Hot Springs (Missouri Pacific) -- The Sawmill Depot (restaurant)
Little Rock (Rock Island) -- Clinton Library School Of Public Service
Hazen (Rock Island) -- Attorney's Office
Lonoke (Rock Island) -- Chamber Of Commerce

Several others have been converted to museums or other businesses. Some have even been transported to, and converted to residences.

For pictures of several of these depots in Arkansas (some are long gone), go to https://www.condrenrails.com/AR-Stations/index.html

Are you bothered by impure thoughts my son, a priest asked a
teen-aged boy in his congregation. Oh no, Father, the boy replied, I rather enjoy them.

How bad did the preacher blush?? <G>

Besides the church bulletin bloopers, I love the ones with the children's sermons. In the examples below, P is for Preacher, C is for Child.

1) P: What must we do to obtain forgiveness of sin??
C: First, we have to sin.

2) P: Do you ask the blessing before you eat??
C: We don't have to...our Mom is such a good cook!!

3) P: Does anyone know what a resurrection is??
C: If you have one for more than 4 hours, you have call an ambulance!!

A preacher was doing a sermon on "the fruits of the Spirit", and he
wanted to highlight the points of "gentleness and meekness". The scenario
he painted was a brutal, cold, raw winter day...with heavy snow, strong
winds, below zero wind chills, and your face is red and chapped. He had
a toy tractor with the rough, grated tires, and a soft medicated Kleenex tissue...and asked what you wanted to soothe the stinging of your chapped skin.

He holds up the Kleenex, and asked if anyone knew what it was. One
child yelled out "TOILET PAPER!!". It brought the house down in raucous laughter!! <G>

A child told her grandmother that she must be like God. When asked why,
the child replied "You're both old". <G>

On each of these, The Good Lord had to be smiling.

Daryl

... If you fart in church, you're sitting in your own pew.
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Hello Daryl!

1) P: What must we do to obtain forgiveness of sin??
C: First, we have to sin.

That's pretty good. But it fails the knowledge test. Apparently
we are all BORN into sin. And.. no seemingly innocent child is
devoid of sin very early in their life.

2) P: Do you ask the blessing before you eat??
C: We don't have to...our Mom is such a good cook!!

Ha... pretty good too. But isn't the conventional term "grace"?

3) P: Does anyone know what a resurrection is??
C: If you have one for more than 4 hours, you have call an ambulance!!

<groan>

--
../|ug

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August,

1) P: What must we do to obtain forgiveness of sin??
C: First, we have to sin.

That's pretty good. But it fails the knowledge test. Apparently
we are all BORN into sin. And.. no seemingly innocent child is
devoid of sin very early in their life.

Romans 3:23 and Romans 3:10 prove that out. Besides, the child will
cry and scream, but when Momma and Daddy show up, he's happy again. It
may be separation anxiety (pets, especially puppies, get that), but it's
as if he's lying already.

2) P: Do you ask the blessing before you eat??
C: We don't have to...our Mom is such a good cook!!

Ha... pretty good too. But isn't the conventional term "grace"?

Yep. There was a story of this Christian missionary in south America,
eating the same food as the tribal members. Yet, while they were dealing
with numerous digestive tract issues, the missionary was not. Finally,
the chief asked what the deal was, and the missionary said "He thanked
The Good Lord for what He so graciously provided...and for Him to bless
the food, and protect him from illness". As a result, he got to witness
to them, and share the Gospel.

In the play "You Can't Take It With You", by George Kaufman and Moss
Hart (I played in that in high school 45 years ago), Grandpa Vanderhof
starts the blessing to The Good Lord with "Well, Sir...here we are
again"...and finishes up with "As far as for the rest of things, we'll
leave it up to you. Thank You". In another movie, the blessing was
short and sweet..."Much Obliged".

3) P: Does anyone know what a resurrection is??
C: If you have one for more than 4 hours, you have call an ambulance!!

<groan>

The kids hear this all the time, and they think it's OK. But, as the
saying goes..."Out of the mouths of babes..." <G>.

Daryl

... My low fat diet works. Fat hangs lower every day.
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Daryl wrote --

starts the blessing to The Good Lord with "Well, Sir...here we are
again"...

--snip --

In another movie, the blessing was short and sweet..."Much Obliged".

IIRC that was a Ma and Pa Kettle film. Pa Kettle was known not to talk a lot.
There's the joke (attributed to many different people over the years)
where the host was having a dinner party and a guest was asked to say the blessing.
He bowed his head and nothing was heard by the others.
The host asked the guest to speak up, no one could hear him.
He replied, "I wasn't talking to you".
Joe
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Joe,

In another movie, the blessing was short and sweet..."Much Obliged".

IIRC that was a Ma and Pa Kettle film. Pa Kettle was known not to
talk a lot.

It's like first, they couldn't get them to talk. Now, they can't get
them to shut up (raising hand <G>).

There's the joke (attributed to many different people over the years) where the host was having a dinner party and a guest was asked to say
the blessing.
He bowed his head and nothing was heard by the others.
The host asked the guest to speak up, no one could hear him.
He replied, "I wasn't talking to you".

<ZING!> <G>

Daryl

... Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
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