• How Do They Survive??

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Wed Nov 4 00:06:10 2020
    Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
    menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
    Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

    "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
    teenager at the counter.

    "You don't?" I replied.

    "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

    "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can
    order six?"

    "That's right."

    So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

    *******************************************************

    The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what
    happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out
    at the local Foodland with just a few items and the
    lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
    mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they
    keep by the cash register and placed it between our
    things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl
    had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
    "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so
    she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said
    to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to
    her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy
    that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the
    things and left. She had no clue to what had just
    happened.....

    *******************************************************

    MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!

    A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into
    her floppy drive and quickly. When inquired as to
    what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
    Internet and they kept asking for a credit card
    number, so she was using the ATM "thingy"....

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
    beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
    She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
    battery to this remote door unlock. Now I can't get
    into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a
    distant convenient store) would have a battery to
    fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm
    too?" She handed it and the car keys to me. As I
    took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
    replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
    about the batteries it's a long walk."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
    swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
    secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
    What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
    secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
    last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
    photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

    *****************************************************

    IDIOTS AT WORK... Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49
    cents. Two for a dollar.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    IDIOTS & COMPUTERS My neighbor works in the
    operations department in the central office of a
    large bank. Employees in the field call him when
    they have problems with their computers. One night
    he got a call from a woman in one of the branch
    banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
    from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a
    fire downtown?"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE I was sitting in my
    science class, when the teacher commented that the
    next day would be the shortest day of the year. My
    lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and
    clapping. I explained to her that the amount of
    daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
    Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
    suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
    connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
    message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
    police pressed the copy button each time they
    thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
    Believing the "lie detector" was working the suspect
    confessed.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Jul 7 14:46:00 2021
    Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
    menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
    Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

    "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
    teenager at the counter.

    "You don't?" I replied.

    "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

    "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can
    order six?"

    "That's right."

    So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

    [ other tales of everyday inDUHviduals snipped]


    Then there was the guy who ordered a "medium coffee" at a McDonalds (we presume)

    "We don't have medium, sir," replied the frazzled teen.

    "You don't?"

    "No, sir we only have Small, Regular, & Large, as per these 3 cups on display for your convenience, sir."

    "Oh, nevceremind, just give me that middle-sized one there, please."

    Another person ordered a burger with "minimal lettuce"

    The tee asked imi to wait a sec, ran into the kitchen, then came out to say, "Sorry, sir, the chef(WHAAAT?) says we only have iceburg. Is that okay?"

    "Sure, but not too much of it, please."

    They walk among us and they VOTE!

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Jul 7 14:49:04 2021
    "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can
    order six?"

    "That's right."

    So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

    I forgot the best one:

    The following is a *true* story.
    -------------------------------------------------------------

    On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h
    I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is
    a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person.
    I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to
    worry about people getting pissed at me.

    ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
    IT: "Is that it?"
    ME: "Yep."
    IT: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
    ME: "No, it's *to* *go*." [I hate effort duplication.]

    At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it
    kind of funny and

    IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

    He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The
    following conversation occurs between the two of them.

    IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
    MG: "No. A what?"
    IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
    MG: "Ask for something else, there's no such thing as a $2 bill."
    IT: "Yeah, thought so."

    He comes back to me and says

    IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
    ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
    IT: "I don't know."
    ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
    IT: "Yeah."
    ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
    IT: "Well, hang on a sec."

    He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to
    shoplift, and

    IT: "He says I have to take it."
    MG: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
    IT: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get
    change."

    MG: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
    IT: "What should I do?"
    MG: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
    IT: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
    MG: "Just tell him."
    IT: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."

    The manager approaches me and says

    MG: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night."
    [it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well-lit
    indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
    ME: "Well, here's a two."
    MG: "We don't take *those* either."
    ME: "Why the hell not?"
    MG: "I think you *know* why."
    ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
    MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
    ME: "Excuse me?"
    MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
    ME: "What the hell for?"

    MG: "Please, sir."
    ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
    MG: "Would you please just leave?"
    ME: "No."
    MG: "Fine, have it your way then."
    ME: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"


    At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone
    around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area,
    and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this
    45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a
    whisper]

    SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
    MG: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
    SG: "Really? What?"
    MG: "Get this, a *two* dollar bill."
    SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
    MG: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is
    a fifty."
    SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
    MG: "NO, the $2 is."
    SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
    MG: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
    SG: "Yeah..."

    Security guard walks over to me and says

    SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
    ME: "Uh, no."
    SG: "Lemme see 'em."
    ME: "Why?"
    SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

    At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so
    I said

    ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."

    I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a
    swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands,
    and says

    SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
    MG: "It's fake."
    SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
    MG: "But it's a **$2** bill."
    SG: "Yeah?"
    MG: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

    The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it
    dawned on the guy that he had no clue.

    My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon
    things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see
    what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of
    people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Wed Jul 7 21:19:00 2021
    George,

    Another person ordered a burger with "minimal lettuce"

    The tee asked imi to wait a sec, ran into the kitchen, then came out to say, "Sorry, sir, the chef(WHAAAT?) says we only have iceburg. Is that okay?"

    "Sure, but not too much of it, please."

    Lettuce pray that they leaf us alone.

    They walk among us and they VOTE!

    It's a sad world we live in.

    Daryl

    ... "Schizophrenia beats dining alone." -Unknown
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Jul 16 08:34:36 2021
    They walk among us and they VOTE!

    It's a sad world we live in.

    Nah; every negative highlights the greater positives we will see one day,
    when things are repaired! :)

    ... "Schizophrenia beats dining alone." -Unknown

    hmmm, medical, eh?

    How about 13 on organs:

    1. I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain. Somebody
    had ripped the appendix out.

    2. Two blood vessels fell in love but alas, it was all in vein.

    3. An organ's favourite boat is a blood vessel.

    4. Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body? Because they are well organized

    5. For years I was against organ transplants. Then I had a change of heart .

    6. The angry brain lost its nerve!

    7. Statistically, nine out of ten injections are in vein.

    8. What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot? Be positive.

    9. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!

    10. You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.

    11. We be-lung together!

    12. When neurons commit a crime, they are put in a nerve cell.

    13. A kidney's favorite instrument is the organ.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Fri Jul 16 17:10:00 2021
    George,

    Nah; every negative highlights the greater positives we will see one
    day, when things are repaired! :)

    I sang in choirs for several years...in high school, college, and church. Three works from composer Randall Thompson I've done, and I love them. They are:

    1) Alleluia
    2) The Seven Last Words Of David
    3) The Peaceable Kingdom

    I believe #2 is done with piano accompaniment, but #1 and #3 are done
    a cappella (no accompaniment). The most dreaded words on a choral work are
    in the piano accompaniment part..."For Rehearsal Only". <G>

    With #3, it has passages from the books of Isaiah and Revelation...and indeed, the Millennial Kingdom of 1000 years (after Christ returns to
    Earth at Armageddon, destroying them with just the Word from His Mouth),
    will be "life as it was meant to be". The lion will lie down with the
    lamb, and infants will put their hands in nests of cobras...yet no one
    will be harmed, and "The knowledge of The Lord will fill the Earth". With
    all the destruction that will take place in the 7 years prior to it, I
    like what Hal Lindsey noted at The Second Coming..."Jesus Christ is going
    to recycle The Late Great Planet Earth". That book started the current interest in Bible Prophecy.

    I was watching the video messages when he went through the book of Revelation, and when he noted the bowl judgments of Revelation 16 (if
    the judgments had been any more severe, the planet, and all life on it,
    would cease to exist), he mentioned the second and third bowl judgments,
    where "all the oceans are turned to blood, all the life in the sea dies,
    all the ships are destroyed, and all the water is turned to blood for the murder of Christ's followers over the millenia". But, when he noted where
    all the ocean life dies, he quipped "no more sushi", and started laughing
    (and everyone else did as well). I think of what former football quarterback Terry Bradshaw (I think it was him) said..."Sushi?? In America, we have a
    word for that...bait". <G>

    How about 13 on organs:

    I'll tell you one first before I look at your responses. I may have told
    you this before, but it's still funny.

    This preacher went to visit the home of an elderly lady, who was a long
    time organist at the church. As she went to get them some refreshments, he noticed a bowl of water on the organ, with a condom in it. The preacher was obviously embarrassed, and he finally got up the courage to ask her what
    this meant.

    The woman replied "I was taking a walk recently, and I found this package
    on the ground. It said "put on organ, keep wet, helps prevent disease. Preacher, I haven't been sick in ages!!".

    The preacher fainted dead away. <BG>

    1. I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.
    Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

    That took care of editing in a hurry.

    2. Two blood vessels fell in love but alas, it was all in vein.

    Were their names Art and Tery?? (Artery) <G>

    3. An organ's favourite boat is a blood vessel.

    If you put the red and blue color together, they'll get marooned.

    4. Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body? Because
    they are well organized

    I think of two young ladies on America's Got Talent back in 2017.
    Darci Lynn Farmer from Oklahoma, and Angelica Hale from Georgia. Darci
    won it all with her being "a singing ventriloquist", and Angelica was
    the runner up, with her singing. Both of those young ladies are cute as
    a bug's ear (I've never seen one up close <G>), and they're great friends.
    When Darci won it all, it was noble of her to invite Angelica and her
    family to join them for the shows in Las Vegas. But, in both cases, as
    one of the judges wondered, "how do those vocal pipes fit in those tiny bodies??".

    5. For years I was against organ transplants. Then I had a change of
    heart .

    It was literally a matter of life and death.

    6. The angry brain lost its nerve!

    Never mind angry birds.

    7. Statistically, nine out of ten injections are in vein.

    My veins are like the weather vanes...constantly moving when they see
    a storm of needles coming. The thing is, you're practically crucified if
    being taken to the hospital in an ambulance, as they seem to pick the
    road with the most potholes. Christian comedian Mark Lowery noted "the ambulances must not have shock absorbers...as if you run over a coin,
    you can tell whether it's heads or tails!!". So, it's a major effort to
    find a vein for an intraveneous feed.

    8. What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot? Be positive.

    Hemophilia is a very serious condition. They've asked me if I'm on
    blood thinners, or if I'm dehydrated. I drink a half gallon of diet
    green tea citrus a day, so my kidneys and bladder are in overdrive.
    But, I haven't had a kidney stone since I quit drinking carbonated
    beverages, soda, etc.

    9. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!

    Unfortunately, those urinary tract infections increase as you get
    older. And the bladder spasms are definitely no fun, especially if
    you have to wear a catheter (been there, done that).

    10. You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.

    It makes you well red.

    11. We be-lung together!

    Never mind wanting to do heavy breathing.

    12. When neurons commit a crime, they are put in a nerve cell.

    If a sunken ship at the bottom of the sea begins shaking because of
    an underwater earthquake, it's "a nervous wreck".

    13. A kidney's favorite instrument is the organ.

    Sounds like when the scientist at the urology lab made a new medical discovery, he yelled "Eurethra!!".

    Daryl

    ... How long do we have to practice sex before it's safe??
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jul 18 12:26:10 2021
    1) Alleluia
    2) The Seven Last Words Of David
    3) The Peaceable Kingdom

    I believe #2 is done with piano accompaniment, but #1 and #3 are done
    a cappella (no accompaniment). The most dreaded words on a choral work are in the piano accompaniment part..."For Rehearsal Only". <G>

    Why would that be a cause for dread?

    I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)


    This preacher went to visit the home of an elderly lady, who was a long time organist at the church. As she went to get them some refreshments, he noticed a bowl of water on the organ, with a condom in it. The preacher
    was
    obviously embarrassed, and he finally got up the courage to ask her what this meant.

    The woman replied "I was taking a walk recently, and I found this
    package
    on the ground. It said "put on organ, keep wet, helps prevent disease. Preacher, I haven't been sick in ages!!".

    The preacher fainted dead away. <BG>

    Another preacer webnt to see an old lady after services, before lunch.

    At her home, he sday in the offered chair & noted a bowl of almonds on the table beside him, being a tad peckish, he asked if he could nibble on them as they talked. She allowed it, & he proceeded with his welfare check visit, listening as she told him of her family & heath troubles.

    When it was time to go he noted he'd some hw eaten EVERY almond. Feeling
    bad, he apologized for losing control.

    She chuckled & said, "No worries, sonny. I'm too old to chew those big nuts
    so I just suck the chocolate offa them."

    Hemophilia is a very serious condition. They've asked me if I'm on
    blood thinners, or if I'm dehydrated. I drink a half gallon of diet
    green tea citrus a day, so my kidneys and bladder are in overdrive.
    But, I haven't had a kidney stone since I quit drinking carbonated beverages, soda, etc.

    I've had kidnery stones yearly since 1990 wqhen I became half paralyzed.

    I drink about 1 can of Coke every 6 months, & only when I need to quickly
    wake up for work or other activity requiring me to be wider awake than I am.

    Biggest was 25ml; worst was about 6 weeks one sumer, I passed 5-10 pea-sized stones a DAY!!! (I learned -- no more EmergenC immunity-boosting mineral
    drinks

    Sounds like when the scientist at the urology lab made a new medical discovery, he yelled "Eurethra!!".

    Kelly Bundy exclaimed once, "Urethra! I have found it!"

    Did you know when you are born, you have 4 kidneys?
    When you grow up, two of them become adult knees.

    My teacher was teaching us about the Urinary System...
    Just before he started he said :
    "Urine for a treat!"

    I replied with:
    "You gotta be kidneying me!"

    England doesn’t have a kidney bank
    But it does have a Liverpool.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sun Jul 18 18:07:00 2021
    George,

    Why would that be a cause for dread?

    Because they prefer music to cover up their mistakes.

    I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

    Tenor Solo. Ten Or Eleven Miles Away, and So Low That No One Hears You.

    She chuckled & said, "No worries, sonny. I'm too old to chew those big nuts so I just suck the chocolate offa them."

    I'll never eat peanuts again.

    Kelly Bundy exclaimed once, "Urethra! I have found it!"

    Did you know when you are born, you have 4 kidneys?
    When you grow up, two of them become adult knees.

    And, the arthritis makes them hurt like stones.

    My teacher was teaching us about the Urinary System...
    Just before he started he said :
    "Urine for a treat!"

    I replied with:
    "You gotta be kidneying me!"

    I'll say.

    Daryl

    ... Free Idiot Test. Insert $5 to begin.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Jul 23 13:52:28 2021
    Hey, Daryl,

    I just posted a BBS ad in BBS ADS echo; I couldn't recall your last name, or I'd've flagged you for it! :)

    It's called Radio Freqs and Geeks -- maybe you already know of it? Maybe you even run it? I dunno, I'm so far out of the loop these days. . .

    I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

    Tenor Solo. Ten Or Eleven Miles Away, and So Low That No One Hears You.

    I like that upgrade to the punny quip!

    Did you know when you are born, you have 4 kidneys?
    When you grow up, two of them become adult knees.

    And, the arthritis makes them hurt like stones.

    I hope not to inherit my mom's Rheumatoid Arthritis -- it's suppodsed to be
    the most painful & is also disfiguring (permanently clutched fists, e.g.)


    ... Free Idiot Test. Insert $5 to begin.

    I heard this as a joke:

    The old trucker pulled into a small Nevada town, & popped into the saloon. He went up to the bartender & said he'd hear the rules were slack in Nevada &
    he'd like to get screwed.

    The bartender said there's only one lady doing this, because it's a small
    town, she wishes to be abonymnous, so go to 453 Reno Avenue, & walkup the stairs to the 3rd floor to apt number 317 & slip $100 bill into the mail slot
    & knock 3 times, then wait.

    He was giddy with excitement & did as the bartender instructed, knocked 3 tjimes & proceeded to wait. . .& wait. . . wait, so he kocled again, more forcefully.

    A lady's voice came from within, "WHADDYA WANT?"

    He answered, "To get screwed."

    She replied, "WHAT? AGAINNN???"

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sat Jul 24 14:00:00 2021
    George,

    I just posted a BBS ad in BBS ADS echo; I couldn't recall your last
    name, or I'd've flagged you for it! :)

    I missed it somehow. I have the BBS Ads echoes in my packet, but I don't recall seeing it.

    It's called Radio Freqs and Geeks -- maybe you already know of it?
    Maybe you even run it? I dunno, I'm so far out of the loop these days.
    . .

    Never heard of it.

    I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

    Tenor Solo. Ten Or Eleven Miles Away, and So Low That No One Hears You.

    I like that upgrade to the punny quip!

    If singing bass, you get to a low note, it sounds like an aborted burp.

    I hope not to inherit my mom's Rheumatoid Arthritis -- it's suppodsed
    to be the most painful & is also disfiguring (permanently clutched
    fists, e.g.)

    Arthritis is hereditary, unfortunately.

    He answered, "To get screwed."

    She replied, "WHAT? AGAINNN???"

    Male blondes do exist.

    Daryl

    ... Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Aug 1 13:17:32 2021
    George,

    I just posted a BBS ad in BBS ADS echo; I couldn't recall your last name, or I'd've flagged you for it! :)

    I missed it somehow. I have the BBS Ads echoes in my packet, but I don't recall seeing it.

    It's called Radio Freqs and Geeks -- maybe you already know of it? Maybe you even run it? I dunno, I'm so far out of the loop these
    days.
    . .

    Never heard of it.

    Look it up if you care to. . . :) It's on the official Synchronet BBS List.

    I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

    Tenor Solo. Ten Or Eleven Miles Away, and So Low That No One Hears
    You.

    I like that upgrade to the punny quip!

    If singing bass, you get to a low note, it sounds like an aborted burp.

    There's a vid on YouTube -- loweest voice in the world -- wow! chills!

    I'm a low baritone, I think, but mostly out of tune. . .

    I hope not to inherit my mom's Rheumatoid Arthritis -- it's suppodsed to be the most painful & is also disfiguring (permanently clutched fists, e.g.)

    Arthritis is hereditary, unfortunately.

    But it's not 100% guaranteed to pass every time. I'd be first to find out, as I'm the eldest of three (#2 is RIP); hoping the gene skipped both my sis & me

    He answered, "To get screwed."

    She replied, "WHAT? AGAINNN???"

    Male blondes do exist.

    Q: Why did the cheerleader have a bruised belly button?
    A: Her boyfriend was blonde, too.

    I always likerto give fair airplasy to brunetters, as I don't hate anyone for their haircolur (except maybe "suicide blondes"("dyed bny her own hand") as they really believe that bleaching their hair makes them better looking. . .

    For the blondes who've heard too many "dumb blonde jokes":

    Q: Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
    A: It doesn't show the dirt.

    Q: Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
    A: Fisher-Price

    Q: Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
    A: They discovered the hair from a buffalo's butt was much more manageable.

    Q: Why are most brunettes flatchested?
    A: It makes it easier to read their T-shirt.

    Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
    A: It matches their mustache.

    Q: If blondes get fingers run through their hair, what runs through a brunettes' hair?
    A: Lice

    & the best for last:
    Q: What's black & blue, & brown, & lies in a ditch?
    A: A brunette who's told too many 'dumb blonde'jokes.

    Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
    A: artificial intelligence.

    One more for the brunettes:
    Q: What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
    A: The interpreter.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Mon Aug 2 11:37:00 2021
    George,


    If singing bass, you get to a low note, it sounds like an aborted burp.

    There's a vid on YouTube -- loweest voice in the world -- wow! chills!

    The late J.D. Sumner, I think who sang with The Stamps Quartet, is in
    the Guiness Book Of World Records, with "the lowest bass singing voice".
    He'd always glissando (slide) down to the last note on the great gospel
    songs.

    Arthritis is hereditary, unfortunately.

    But it's not 100% guaranteed to pass every time. I'd be first to find
    out, as I'm the eldest of three (#2 is RIP); hoping the gene skipped
    both my sis & me

    Diarrhea is hereditary...it runs in your jeans. :P

    Q: Why did the cheerleader have a bruised belly button?
    A: Her boyfriend was blonde, too.

    Oh, no!! <LOL!>.

    I always likerto give fair airplasy to brunetters, as I don't hate
    anyone for their haircolur (except maybe "suicide blondes"("dyed bny
    her own hand") as they really believe that bleaching their hair makes
    them better looking. . .

    When I square danced years ago, this good looking redhead female from
    Kansas told me "Blondes have more fun, but redheads have more pizazz". <G>
    A fellow ham radio operator advised me when I told him I was in the
    hospital the last few days (as per another message), to "make a request
    for a female redhead nurse". <G>

    For the blondes who've heard too many "dumb blonde jokes":

    Q: Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
    A: It doesn't show the dirt.

    Q: Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
    A: Fisher-Price

    Q: Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
    A: They discovered the hair from a buffalo's butt was much more manageable.

    Q: Why are most brunettes flatchested?
    A: It makes it easier to read their T-shirt.

    Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
    A: It matches their mustache.

    Q: If blondes get fingers run through their hair, what runs through a brunettes' hair?
    A: Lice

    & the best for last:
    Q: What's black & blue, & brown, & lies in a ditch?
    A: A brunette who's told too many 'dumb blonde'jokes.

    Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
    A: artificial intelligence.

    One more for the brunettes:
    Q: What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
    A: The interpreter.

    I've heard some of those before, but some are new.

    Daryl

    ... Newspaper Headline: "Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft."
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Aug 4 18:15:44 2021
    There's a vid on YouTube -- loweest voice in the world -- wow!
    chills!

    The late J.D. Sumner, I think who sang with The Stamps Quartet, is in
    the Guiness Book Of World Records, with "the lowest bass singing voice". He'd always glissando (slide) down to the last note on the great gospel songs.

    Probaby who I'm referring to then. . . Amazinmg what the human voice can do. The late Freddy Mercury could cover 4 entire octaves & a couple notes on each side to boot!

    Diarrhea is hereditary...it runs in your jeans. :P

    Or genes? ;)

    Of course chances are that if your parents never had children, you won't either!

    Grandchildren(n): God's reward to you for not kiling your own children when they were teens.

    Q: Why do grandchildren & grandmothers get along so well?
    A: They have a common enemy


    When I square danced years ago, this good looking redhead female from Kansas told me "Blondes have more fun, but redheads have more pizazz". <G>
    A fellow ham radio operator advised me when I told him I was in the
    hospital the last few days (as per another message), to "make a request
    for a female redhead nurse". <G>

    I've never really considered if those professionals helping me are good
    looking or not -- I'm most concerned with capable & competent!

    rI only cate about hair colour as much as the lady I'm speaking to does, & I generally like hers & dislike any she dislikes! :D

    Hair is just bodily excretions, feces, really!


    My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
    I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

    My doctor thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of feces for my stool sample
    I told him it was the least I could doo

    The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces, it’s fake. You could say it’s sham poo.

    A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing feces at zoo employees Three of the zoo employees were rushed to hospital with turd debris burns

    A man had some feces stuck on him.
    They had to ampootate it.

    Q: What do you get when you eat too much chocolate and peanut butter?
    A: Reese’s feces

    Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
    A: Dr. Dre
    [not racist -- just playing with observational POV]

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Thu Aug 5 10:11:00 2021
    George,

    The late J.D. Sumner, I think who sang with The Stamps Quartet, is in
    the Guiness Book Of World Records, with "the lowest bass singing voice". He'd always glissando (slide) down to the last note on the great gospel songs.

    Probaby who I'm referring to then. . . Amazinmg what the human voice
    can do. The late Freddy Mercury could cover 4 entire octaves & a couple notes on each side to boot!

    That's like those pianists whose hands can reach more than an octave.
    Sergei Rachmaninoff had HUGE HANDS, but he was a virtuoso. My 2 favorites
    of his are the Rhapsody On A Theme From Paganinni, and his Piano Concerto
    #2.

    Diarrhea is hereditary...it runs in your jeans. :P

    Or genes? ;)

    Could be both...code brown alert...OMG, that wasn't a fart!! :P

    Of course chances are that if your parents never had children, you
    won't either!

    Never have children, only grandchildren.

    Grandchildren(n): God's reward to you for not kiling your own children when they were teens.

    And a second chance to get diaper duty right.

    Q: Why do grandchildren & grandmothers get along so well?
    A: They have a common enemy

    I saw a meme where the little boy is sitting on a chair, facing the
    corner, and the caption noted "I'm going to take this all the way to
    Grandma". <G>

    I've never really considered if those professionals helping me are good looking or not -- I'm most concerned with capable & competent!

    That's true...but at least the ones I had weren't ugly. Remember...beauty
    is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. <G>

    Hair is just bodily excretions, feces, really!

    Makes you wonder about the bearded ladies at the circus. :P

    My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
    I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

    Sounds like he was a crappy player.

    My doctor thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of feces for my stool sample
    I told him it was the least I could doo

    I found a piano stool...I thought they were housebroken!! <G>

    Several years ago, when I was in the hospital with severe gastroenteritis (nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, at the same time), after being in the ER,
    they admitted me. They did an upper GI, giving me the equivalent of a very thick carbonated strawberry milk shake...and told me to drink it, but not pause. I swigged that thing like a whino (sp?)...and they said "This man
    knows how to drink!!" <G>. Truthfully, it was the first thing they had let
    me have in 2 days. I told them to have the stepstool next to the gurney,
    in case I had to bid a hasty retreat to the toilet. Sure enough, not 15
    minutes later, I had to fight the cat for the sandbox. <G> They said I
    was lucky...and when I asked why, they said "Some people are down here
    5 hours to get emptied out"...I just cringed.

    The next day, they had me on NPO (nothing by mouth), as it looked like
    I might need an appendectomy, from the ultrasound. This good looking
    female nurse walked in, but had the gall to ask for a stool sample. I
    asked "Where do you think I'm going to get it?? From the bedpan in the
    next room?? You haven't fed me in 3 days!!". She sighed and lamented
    "Well, you can't manufacture it if you ain't got it". So, they gave me
    some lime jello to get what they wanted. I lost 10 pounds the hard way
    that week.

    One time, the doctor told me "You have to watch what you eat". I then
    replied "I do...from the plate to the mouth". He growled "You know what
    I mean!!". I hate medical staff without a sense of humor.

    The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces, it’s fake. You could say it’s sham poo.

    Boycott shampoo...use real poo...for the real brown hair look. :P

    A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing feces at zoo employees Three of the zoo employees were rushed to hospital with turd debris burns

    They will literally do that when they get angry or feel threatened.

    A man had some feces stuck on him.
    They had to ampootate it.

    He must've been out in the sun too long, after rolling around naked in
    the cow pasture.

    Q: What do you get when you eat too much chocolate and peanut butter?
    A: Reese’s feces

    Well, chocolate is brown, as well. But, the reason your stool color is
    brown is because of the bile from your gall bladder.

    Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
    A: Dr. Dre
    [not racist -- just playing with observational POV]

    You lost a character or two there.

    Daryl

    ... Anyone know a chocolate reader for NESTLES.QWK??
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Aug 6 11:22:56 2021
    Probaby who I'm referring to then. . . Amazinmg what the human voice can do. The late Freddy Mercury could cover 4 entire octaves & a
    couple
    notes on each side to boot!

    That's like those pianists whose hands can reach more than an octave. Sergei Rachmaninoff had HUGE HANDS, but he was a virtuoso. My 2 favorites
    of his are the Rhapsody On A Theme From Paganinni, and his Piano Concerto #2.

    Some amazing talents out there in every category!

    Could be both...code brown alert...OMG, that wasn't a fart!! :P

    A lot of hospitals use those color codes (code red is less alarming than saying, on the PA "We have a fire")
    Code Brown is the lower seniority nurses'; equivalent to "cleanup on aisle 5" *G*

    Too many patients have caught on to the code red, so one hospital I was in
    used "Paging Mister Red to the Cafeteria" meant a fire in the cafeteria. .

    I caught on & casually asked a nurse, "Is that fire going to affect when we
    get lunch?"; she made some calls & told me that it was a mound of paper deliberately lit on a back table - the kitchen was unaffected. Then she
    asked whbo told me the code red meaning, as it had just been begun & all
    nurses were sworn to secrecy. Eventually I convinced her of the truth -- I'm
    a smart feller(fart smeller) & figured it out all by my little brain-damaged self!

    I've always joked with medical staff, but never lied to them.

    My Kindergartener's favorite joke:
    "What's green and has four legs and would realy hurt you if it fell out of a tree?"
    --A pool table

    Q: Whats blue and smells like red paint?
    A: Blue paint.

    Guy goes into the doctor's office for an ear infection. The loud-first- sergeant-type nurse shuffles him to a cubicle and tells hime to take off ALL clothes and put on the stupid paper examination gown.

    Sitting there freezing, he starts grousing out loud about having to sit there naked for a stupid ear infection when he hears a voice from over the top of
    the wall "Hey--don't feel bad. I just came in here to fix the telephones."

    Reminds me, true funny story, of when I was first paralyzed,in the hospital & my girlfriend was over visiting. I invited her to come in, & close the
    curtain so we can make love. She argues, saying people in the ward will hear
    us & the guy next door replies, "Go ahead, I won't listen!"; I used that as evbidence of why it was okay; she trhen asked, "Well, what if a nurse pokes gher heads in, what do we do?"; I said the nurse woulfd first ask, "What do
    you think you two are DOING?" & while she's waiting for an answer, we'll have
    t ime to finish!

    Sadly, got nothing that day, or at all, while in the hospital *sniff*



    Of course chances are that if your parents never had children, you won't either!

    Never have children, only grandchildren.

    Grandchildren(n): God's reward to you for not kiling your own
    children
    when they were teens.

    And a second chance to get diaper duty right.

    Q: Why do grandchildren & grandmothers get along so well?
    A: They have a common enemy

    I saw a meme where the little boy is sitting on a chair, facing the corner, and the caption noted "I'm going to take this all the way to Grandma". <G>

    I've never really considered if those professionals helping me are
    good
    looking or not -- I'm most concerned with capable & competent!

    That's true...but at least the ones I had weren't ugly.
    Remember...beauty
    is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. <G>

    Hair is just bodily excretions, feces, really!

    Makes you wonder about the bearded ladies at the circus. :P

    My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting
    and
    attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
    I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

    Sounds like he was a crappy player.

    My doctor thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of feces for
    my
    stool sample
    I told him it was the least I could doo

    I found a piano stool...I thought they were housebroken!! <G>

    Several years ago, when I was in the hospital with severe
    gastroenteritis
    (nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, at the same time), after being in the ER, they admitted me. They did an upper GI, giving me the equivalent of a very thick carbonated strawberry milk shake...and told me to drink it, but not pause. I swigged that thing like a whino (sp?)...and they said "This man knows how to drink!!" <G>. Truthfully, it was the first thing they had let me have in 2 days. I told them to have the stepstool next to the gurney,
    in case I had to bid a hasty retreat to the toilet. Sure enough, not 15 minutes later, I had to fight the cat for the sandbox. <G> They said I
    was lucky...and when I asked why, they said "Some people are down here
    5 hours to get emptied out"...I just cringed.

    The next day, they had me on NPO (nothing by mouth), as it looked like
    I might need an appendectomy, from the ultrasound. This good looking
    female nurse walked in, but had the gall to ask for a stool sample. I
    asked "Where do you think I'm going to get it?? From the bedpan in the
    next room?? You haven't fed me in 3 days!!". She sighed and lamented
    "Well, you can't manufacture it if you ain't got it". So, they gave me
    some lime jello to get what they wanted. I lost 10 pounds the hard way
    that week.

    One time, the doctor told me "You have to watch what you eat". I then replied "I do...from the plate to the mouth". He growled "You know what
    I mean!!". I hate medical staff without a sense of humor.

    The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces,
    it’s
    fake. You could say it’s sham poo.

    Boycott shampoo...use real poo...for the real brown hair look. :P

    A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing feces at zoo employees Three of the zoo employees were rushed to hospital with
    turd
    debris burns

    They will literally do that when they get angry or feel threatened.

    A man had some feces stuck on him.
    They had to ampootate it.

    He must've been out in the sun too long, after rolling around naked in
    the cow pasture.

    Q: What do you get when you eat too much chocolate and peanut butter? A: Reese’s feces

    Well, chocolate is brown, as well. But, the reason your stool color is brown is because of the bile from your gall bladder.

    Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
    A: Dr. Dre
    [not racist -- just playing with observational POV]

    You lost a character or two there.

    Daryl

    ... Anyone know a chocolate reader for NESTLES.QWK??
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Fri Aug 6 16:35:00 2021
    George,

    A lot of hospitals use those color codes (code red is less alarming
    than saying, on the PA "We have a fire")
    Code Brown is the lower seniority nurses'; equivalent to "cleanup on
    aisle 5" *G*

    They had both in my hospital stay, and two code blues.

    Too many patients have caught on to the code red, so one hospital I was
    in used "Paging Mister Red to the Cafeteria" meant a fire in the cafeteria. .

    There's a book "Why Do Men Have Nipples??", and it had the explanation
    in it. I don't know what happened the copy I have...but I'm sure you can
    find the list on the internet.

    I caught on & casually asked a nurse, "Is that fire going to affect
    when we get lunch?"; she made some calls & told me that it was a mound
    of paper deliberately lit on a back table - the kitchen was unaffected.

    Some folks just want to cause trouble.

    Then she asked who told me the code red meaning, as it had just been begun & all nurses were sworn to secrecy. Eventually I convinced her
    of the truth -- I'm a smart feller(fart smeller) & figured it out all
    by my little brain-damaged self!

    If you can smell the fart, you're too close for social distancing. :P

    I've always joked with medical staff, but never lied to them.

    I told 2 nurses the joke about where the husband brought his wife to
    the hospital, as she was in labor. They got her in, and the doctor said
    they had a new procedure to transfer all the pain from the expectant
    mother to the father. Well, Mom was all for that, and since Dad had a
    high pain tolerance, he was game for it.

    Well, the doctor starts it slow, then ramps it up, bit by bit, until
    it's maxed out. Mom has no pain, Dad has no pain, and she delivers a
    nice healthy 8 pound boy. When they got home, the milkman was found
    dead on the front porch. <G>

    The 2 nurses just roared with laughter. :)

    My Kindergartener's favorite joke:
    "What's green and has four legs and would realy hurt you if it fell out
    of a tree?"
    --A pool table

    Never mind 2 balls in the side pocket. :P

    Q: Whats blue and smells like red paint?
    A: Blue paint.

    The worst thing in the screen print shop isn't the fumes...it's the fire hazard.

    Guy goes into the doctor's office for an ear infection. The loud-first- sergeant-type nurse shuffles him to a cubicle and tells hime to take
    off ALL clothes and put on the stupid paper examination gown.

    Sitting there freezing, he starts grousing out loud about having to sit there naked for a stupid ear infection when he hears a voice from over
    the top of the wall "Hey--don't feel bad. I just came in here to fix
    the telephones."

    Never mind, number please. :P

    Sadly, got nothing that day, or at all, while in the hospital *sniff*

    They are "blind" to the nudity.

    Daryl

    ... Sex is a misdemeanor. Da more you miss, Da meaner you get.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Sun Aug 8 18:32:40 2021
    There's a book "Why Do Men Have Nipples??", and it had the explanation
    in it. I don't know what happened the copy I have...but I'm sure you can find the list on the internet.

    I've read excerpts, but not yet got hold of the book itself; it's on my todo list. . . :)

    If you can smell the fart, you're too close for social distancing. :P

    If you can even HEAR the fart, you're too close for the neurotically introverted.

    My Kindergartener's favorite joke:
    "What's green and has four legs and would realy hurt you if it fell
    out
    of a tree?"
    --A pool table

    Never mind 2 balls in the side pocket. :P

    Guy takes his 16-year-old son to his doctor for his first ever physical. Son was perturbed when the doctor told him to get undressed, more so when the doctor grabnbed hold opf his little sensitives, down under. His dad said, "Don't worry, son, he's just checking to make sure all three are okay."


    ... Sex is a misdemeanor. Da more you miss, Da meaner you get.

    API - Clearwater Florida - Lorena Bobbitt's sister Luella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as
    her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was
    not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The
    husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition. Luella has been charged with one count of a misdewiener.

    You're not into puns/twists of words; maybe you prefer math? It's hard to
    twist things withg math:

    Ask Abbott & Costello:
    https://youtu.be/lzxVyO6cpos

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Sun Aug 8 23:57:00 2021
    George,

    I've read excerpts, but not yet got hold of the book itself; it's on my todo list. . . :)

    I wonder if I can download a copy?? I'm not normally a reader, but this
    was interesting.

    If you can smell the fart, you're too close for social distancing. :P

    If you can even HEAR the fart, you're too close for the neurotically introverted.

    Just like Maxine ("I Love My Attitude Problem") who puts the fart sound
    as her phone ringtone, and sets it off in the elevator. <G>

    Guy takes his 16-year-old son to his doctor for his first ever
    physical. Son was perturbed when the doctor told him to get undressed, more so when the doctor grabnbed hold opf his little sensitives, down under. His dad said, "Don't worry, son, he's just checking to make sure all three are okay."

    Never mind "Turn your head, and cough". <G>

    API - Clearwater Florida - Lorena Bobbitt's sister Luella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband
    as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the
    sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target
    and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition. Luella has been charged with one count of a misdewiener.

    LOL!!

    You're not into puns/twists of words; maybe you prefer math? It's hard
    to twist things withg math:

    I loved their "two tens for a five", and "13 times 7 equals 28".

    Daryl

    ... I went to college at Catatonic State.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Aug 9 10:32:38 2021
    I've read excerpts, but not yet got hold of the book itself; it's on
    my
    todo list. . . :)

    I wonder if I can download a copy?? I'm not normally a reader, but this was interesting.

    I don't have a copy, but you can always check online -- or your local
    library, for the ebook version?

    Just like Maxine ("I Love My Attitude Problem") who puts the fart sound
    as her phone ringtone, and sets it off in the elevator. <G>

    Remember Jeff's ringtone, set by Walter, when it goes off in the elevator?

    How much you want to bet Walter saw him go into the crowded elevator, then called him?


    more so when the doctor grabnbed hold opf his little sensitives, down under. His dad said, "Don't worry, son, he's just checking to make
    sure
    all three are okay."

    Never mind "Turn your head, and cough". <G>

    Daddy, I only have two!
    Well, son, I guess you'll know better than to cough when anyone's holding
    your jewels; a young one like you; he'll get $250K easy for that one he took offen yas!

    I loved their "two tens for a five", and "13 times 7 equals 28".

    That was 28/13=7 that I gave you the link for!

    I hadn't seem the change making one:
    https://youtu.be/f7pMYHn-1yA

    How much could he have made off of him, eh? If he'd kept going. . .

    Find the missing dollar:

    Three guests check into a hotel room. The manager says the bill is $30, so
    each guest pays $10. Later the manager realizes the bill should only have
    been $25. To rectify this, he gives the bellhop $5 as five one-dollar bills
    to return to the guests.

    On the way to the guests' room to refund the money, the bellhop realizes that he cannot equally divide the five one-dollar bills among the three guests. As the guests are not aware of the total of the revised bill, the bellhop
    decides to just give each guest $1 back and keep $2 as a tip for himself, and proceeds to do so.

    As each guest got $1 back, each guest only paid $9, bringing the total paid
    to $27. The bellhop kept $2, which when added to the $27, comes to $29. So if the guests originally handed over $30, what happened to the remaining $1?

    There seems to be a discrepancy, as there cannot be two answers ($29 and $30) to the math problem. On the one hand it is true that the $25 in the register, the $3 returned to the guests, and the $2 kept by the bellhop add up to $30, but on the other hand, the $27 paid by the guests and the $2 kept by the bellhop add up to only $29.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)