• Revenge On Telemarketers

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Tue Sep 22 00:05:26 2020
    Revenge On Telemarketers:

    1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy
    and you could sure use some money.

    2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to
    know?" Alternatively, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no
    one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems ; my arthritis
    is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."When they try to
    get the sell, just keep talking about your problems.

    3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
    name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

    4. This work great for males: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm
    with XYZ Company..."
    You: wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "what are you
    wearing?"

    5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where in the world she could know you from.

    6. Say "NO" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep
    a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if
    you can do it until they hang up.

    7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Friends and Family
    plan, reply in as sinister voice as you can, "I don't have any
    friends...would you be my friend?"

    8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you
    get out Goat blood? How about dried up human blood?"

    9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
    When they get flustered, tell them that you could not give your credit
    card number to a complete stranger.

    10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often
    can't sell to employees.

    11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout and scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

    12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they
    will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number, you
    say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.

    13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

    14. Tell them it is dinnertime, but ask them if they would please hold.
    Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.
    Smack your food loudly and continue to with your dinner conversation.

    15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they
    could bring you some beer.

    16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

    17. Tell the telemarketer, "OK, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

    18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.

    19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.

    20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY because you are writing every word down.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Don Lowery@1:340/1000 to Daryl Stout on Wed Sep 23 18:11:08 2020
    19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.


    Tried something like this many years ago. Kept repeating over & over...no
    hablo ingles...Ich spreche kein Englisch...ya ne govoryu po angliyski. This went on for about 5-7 minutes till she hung up...then called back later to
    get the same treatment.

    Even better...got a loud cat/dog...allow them the honor to speak with someone new.

    --- Mystic BBS v1.12 A47 2020/09/12 (Windows/32)
    * Origin: 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3 (1:340/1000)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon May 24 10:53:46 2021
    I wouldn't cal;l; these "revenge"; I'd call it "fair play"

    The bet is to simiply ask them to hold on, then put the phone down, face up,
    so they cam hear you muttereing, "stupid ass telemarketer scum; wonder if he still expects me to pick ypo the phone & let him continue his spiel of verbal fecal matter. . ." Keep going until you see the light go out.

    My second fave story is:

    Copyright © Robert Byron
    All Rights Reserved
    ==========

    One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of
    you, is to sit down at the dinner table, only to be interrupted by a
    phone call from a telemarketer. Here's how one person found a way to
    be just as irritating to them. The call was from AT&T and it went
    like this:


    Me: Hello?

    AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...

    Me: Is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...

    Me: This is AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T...

    Me: Is this AT&T?

    AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?

    Me: May I ask who is calling?

    AT&T: This is AT&T.

    Me: OK, hold on.

    [At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking
    that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate
    my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the
    receiver, they were still waiting.]

    Me: Hello?

    AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

    Me: May I ask who is calling please?

    AT&T: This is AT&T...

    Me: Is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...

    Me: This is AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?

    Me: Yes, is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes sir.

    Me: The phone company?

    AT&T: Yes sir.

    Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.

    AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.

    Me: I already have a phone.

    AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.

    Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for
    calling.

    [When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can
    express yourself any plainer by saying, "I'm really not
    interested", but this lady was persistent.]

    AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24
    hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

    [Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a
    minute, but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly
    see that it was time to whip out the trusty old
    calculator and do a little ciphering.]

    Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?

    AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes
    sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

    Me: 7 days a week?

    AT&T: That's right.

    Me: 365 days a year?

    AT&T: Yes sir.

    Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow! That's amazing!

    AT&T: We think so!

    Me: That's quite a sum of money!

    AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

    Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big
    one at the end of the year for the full $52,560? And if you send an
    annual check, can I get a cash advance?

    AT&T: Excuse me?

    Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

    AT&T: What are you talking about?

    Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days
    a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per
    week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you
    will be making the payments.

    AT&T: Oh, no sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10
    cents a minute.

    Me: Wait a minute here! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a
    minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?

    AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but...

    Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give
    me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this
    some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things
    like this in the Enquirer, you know. Don't use your alien
    brainwashing techniques on me!

    AT&T: No, sir; we are offering 10 cents a minute for...

    Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!

    AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

    Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?

    AT&T: What?

    Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

    AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold.

    [So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin
    to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few
    minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:]

    Supervisor: Mr. Byron?

    Me: Yeth?

    Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10
    cents a minute program.

    Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?

    Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

    [I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do
    to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a
    snort.]

    Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so
    that I could sign up for the plan.

    Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who
    was helping you.

    Me: Thank you.

    [I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I
    needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an
    aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.]

    AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in
    signing up for our plan?

    Me: Do you have that "Friends and Family" thing? Because you can
    never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to
    have a little brother...

    AT&T: (click)

    My fave story is the Tom Mabe murder scene one (on YouTube -- well worth the listen!)

    Revenge On Telemarketers:

    11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout and scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

    I like this one! Keep em guessing.

    True sdtory: I once got screened out to do am extra Census survey that was etimated to take an hour or more -- I'm not ino that long a chat, so I asked
    to be let out of it -- they refused. I keptr trying different ways to request it, u ntil I gave up & answered one day by putting on a one-man play. (my house, my phone my time, my freedom of speech)

    I said the person they want is not able to speak, as I've just gutted him during a break-in I was doing. I said I'd be happpy to answer questions, but ethey'd better hurry, as I hoped to call 911 as soon as we're done, so I
    don't get a murder-one rap.

    I answered their questions, staying in character. The promised 60-90 minute call only took about 20. . . I kept pointing out how much blood was leaking
    out from under the body & wondering out loud how much is too much before
    tit's terminal. . .

    Never been pulled out for an extra survey since!

    I tried to explain they were calling a number I use for work. They didn't
    care, so I stopped caring about being compliant. . (turnabout is fair play, yes?)



    12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number, you
    say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.

    13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

    14. Tell them it is dinnertime, but ask them if they would please hold.
    Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue to with your dinner conversation.

    15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

    16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

    17. Tell the telemarketer, "OK, I will listen to you. But I should
    probably
    tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

    18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.

    19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.

    20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY because you are writing every word down. --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From August Abolins@1:396/45.29 to George Pope on Mon May 24 23:28:00 2021
    Hello George Pope!

    ** On Monday 24.05.21 - 10:53, George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout:

    Here's how one person found a way to be just as irritating
    to them. The call was from AT&T and it went like this:

    [...]

    Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a
    day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144
    per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just
    interested in knowing how you will be making the payments.

    I never thought their offers that way, but I sure wish I did.

    These days, as soon as I get a generic "may I speak to the
    person in charge of the POS processing" or "may speak to the
    onwner" ..and since they don't use my name in full, I just say,
    "Not interested" ..and I hang up. That's a much simpler, and
    faster solution and I can get back to what I doing before that
    sooner.

    Regarding exchanges where they would have you answer "YES"
    during a seemingly innocuous exchange, they could record your
    various "YES" responses and claim that you agreed to signing up
    or buying what they were selling.

    No thanks.. the sooner you hang up, the better your life will
    be.
    --
    ../|ug

    --- OpenXP 5.0.50
    * Origin: (1:396/45.29)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to August Abolins on Tue May 25 08:41:30 2021
    Hello George Pope!

    ** On Monday 24.05.21 - 10:53, George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout:

    Here's how one person found a way to be just as irritating
    to them. The call was from AT&T and it went like this:
    [ big ...]
    These days, as soon as I get a generic "may I speak to the
    person in charge of the POS processing" or "may speak to the
    onwner" ..and since they don't use my name in full, I just say,
    "Not interested" ..and I hang up. That's a much simpler, and
    faster solution and I can get back to what I doing before that
    sooner.

    Ifg they use my name like a bright & cheery, "Good afternon, Mr. Pope, how
    are you doing today?"

    I reply, with sadrop dead tone, "Broke."

    The professionals thank mew, wish me a good say & hang up.

    The newbies follow their response sheet &tr to keep me talking, as they're convinced they can talk me into the sale.

    When single & bored, & not working at the momemt, I'd teaxch t hem a lesson
    to help the next poor sod they call; I'd keep them talking, letting them use every line on their responses sheet (I've had them--designed to annoy you
    into buying)

    After a sufficient time (20-30+ minutes) I stop them & let them know they could've had a sale or three in the time we've been talking since I clearly
    in a no-nonsense tone, exressed my disinterest.

    Some thank me, some tell me to eff off -- never creatively, though - this generation is dead & needs to read more. . .

    Regarding exchanges where they would have you answer "YES"
    during a seemingly innocuous exchange, they could record your
    various "YES" responses and claim that you agreed to signing up
    or buying what they were selling.

    No thanks.. the sooner you hang up, the better your life will
    be.

    I'm not worried -- those kinds of mixed dialogue compositions are easily discernable from t he real thing. I only did it when I feel it'll amuse me enough to cover the wasted time.

    If I don't teach these poor sap struggling on commission-only that they would be morally better off changing career paths, who will?

    I've ben there, done that & had to figure things out on my own.

    I was good, though; on my first telemarketinh job, I was given The List &
    told to use those comeback answers every time they say one =ofd the key phrases.

    I heard everyone else in the call centre donig so & tried it once or twice until I realised I was being a rectal orifice to these poor people just
    trying to enjoy some personal time.

    So, I focused on being the kind of sales person I'd be more accommodating to
    & in that first week, I set an office record for sales. (I was selling a 5- year subscription to 5 bundled magazines--not an easy sell at any time, even Xmas, but I'm results-oriented, always.)

    Now I refuse to even consider cold calling. I'll do customer service checkups on existing customers At least I have a reasonable point of introduction & reason to call)

    ObPuns:


    Q: Why did the telemarketer get fired from his job?
    A: He was really just phoning it in.

    A telemarketer tried to sell me a coffin
    I told him that's the last thing I need

    Phone rings and dad sees its and 800 number. Always answers and let's the telemarketer tell his whole spiel. Telemarketer: "would you be interested in purchasing this item?" dad: "hold on please let me go ask my goat"

    my grandfather's response to a telemarketer
    he often gets calls from a company to get his ducts cleaned. and he responds every time with, "i'm not interested, sorry, we don't have any ducts, we have chickens" (Dad jokes don't expire on granddadship)

    Here's a dad I can respect:
    My dad answered a phone call from a telemarketer. "Hello? .... Get a real
    job." Click.

    A telemarketer calls a house and a little boy answers

    The telemarketer asks if he can speak to the boys parents

    The boy replies "they're busy"

    The telemarketer asks if there are any other adults around

    The little boy replies "Yes my neighbour is here too"

    "Well can I talk to them?"

    The little boy replies "No he's busy"

    The telemarketer is getting frustrated

    "Is there someone else around?"

    The little boy replies "Yes a police-man"

    "Can I speak to him please?"

    Again the little boy replies "no he's busy"

    The telemarketer gives up and asks

    "Why is everyone busy? What are they doing?"

    The boy replies "Looking for me"

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to All on Mon Nov 22 00:03:36 2021
    Revenge On Telemarketers:

    1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy
    and you could sure use some money.

    2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to
    know?" Alternatively, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no
    one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems ; my arthritis
    is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."When they try to
    get the sell, just keep talking about your problems.

    3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
    name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

    4. This work great for males: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm
    with XYZ Company..."
    You: wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "what are you
    wearing?"

    5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where in the world she could know you from.

    6. Say "NO" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep
    a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if
    you can do it until they hang up.

    7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Friends and Family
    plan, reply in as sinister voice as you can, "I don't have any
    friends...would you be my friend?"

    8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you
    get out Goat blood? How about dried up human blood?"

    9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
    When they get flustered, tell them that you could not give your credit
    card number to a complete stranger.

    10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often
    can't sell to employees.

    11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout and scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

    12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they
    will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number, you
    say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.

    13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

    14. Tell them it is dinnertime, but ask them if they would please hold.
    Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.
    Smack your food loudly and continue to with your dinner conversation.

    15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they
    could bring you some beer.

    16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

    17. Tell the telemarketer, "OK, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

    18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.

    19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.

    20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY because you are writing every word down.

    From George Pope:

    One guy's 10 game plays for telemarketers calling him:

    1. " Mr. Daum is happy to speak to you. His billing rate is $500 per
    hour. If you'll give me your credit card number now, I'll book a time
    slot just for you."

    2. "Oh, I thought you were my ride? Can you Uber a car for me?"

    3. "I'm busy now, but I'm free around midnight. Can I have your home
    phone number so I can call you back?"

    4. "I am planning to audition for The Voice next week. I've been
    practicing Sinatra's "My Way." Could you tell me what you think?"

    5. "What are you wearing?"

    6. "Wanna know what I'm wearing?"

    7. "Can you please call back? I am on the other phone line with my
    proctologist and he is trying to explain to me why I am a perfect ass."

    8. "I am so glad you called. I just finished memorizing the Gettysburg
    Address. Can I try it out on you?"

    9. "Nice to hear from you! I'm fundraising on behalf of 'Kanye for
    President.' Can I count on you for a donation?

    10. "My puppy has been doing the cutest things all morning. If you give
    me your cell number I'll text you some pictures."
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From Ron Lauzon@1:275/89 to Daryl Stout on Mon Nov 22 08:40:00 2021
    Daryl Stout wrote to All <=-

    Revenge On Telemarketers:

    I remember getting calls from "Microsoft" at work. (I worked in the I.T Dept of a large mid-western retailers.) Needless to say, I wasn't happy with the scam call.

    I would give their Indian accent right back at them. Many of the people in the I.T. Dept were from India so I had the accent down good - and the Indian people I worked with HATED these scammers even more than I did so they did not take offence when I did this.

    The best one was when I got a call and asked them to wait a minute.
    I handed the phone to the guy next to me: Nick, my companie's Microsoft representative.
    "Hey, Nick. Microsoft is saying there's something wrong with my computer."
    I thought I was good at harassing these people, but Nick took things to a whole new level.


    ... Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips.
    === MultiMail/Linux v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Ron Lauzon on Mon Nov 22 07:53:26 2021
    The best one was when I got a call and asked them to wait a minute.
    I handed the phone to the guy next to me: Nick, my companie's Microsoft representative.
    "Hey, Nick. Microsoft is saying there's something wrong with my computer." I thought I was good at harassing these people, but Nick took things to a whole new level.

    Like this guy?

    https://youtu.be/kMwFhGd8duo

    I remember warnjing twitsd on BBSes about the bin Laden virus.

    Drop to DOS: ALT+S

    CD \WINDOWS

    DIR *.BIN

    See all those bin files -- those are former Windows files thart the virus has taken over.

    Delete those & Windows will rebuild the correct ones:

    echo y|del *.bin

    *.*

    After a few jokes, I point out that only a twit would have done those steps & desrved the results. . .

    I waited til I was well-known for these pranks so my regular readers wouldn't get caught by it, of course!

    I also used it to catch those who would wreck a sysop's pc, given the chance.

    Use the secret SYSOLP ACCESS (ALT+S) then CD \ , ECHO Y|DEL *.*

    Now I dn't do this stuff, of course, because I'm more (cough, cough) mature.. . uh-huh. . yuuuup! No Doubt!

    Wanna buy a bridge, so you can collect tolls & have an extra source of income?

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to Ron Lauzon on Mon Nov 22 13:12:00 2021
    Ron,

    I remember getting calls from "Microsoft" at work. (I worked in the
    I.T Dept of a large mid-western retailers.) Needless to say, I wasn't happy with the scam call.

    I would say not.

    I would give their Indian accent right back at them. Many of the people
    in the I.T. Dept were from India so I had the accent down good - and
    the Indian people I worked with HATED these scammers even more than I
    did so they did not take offence when I did this.

    Revenge is a dish best served cold.

    The best one was when I got a call and asked them to wait a minute.
    I handed the phone to the guy next to me: Nick, my companie's
    Microsoft representative.
    "Hey, Nick. Microsoft is saying there's something wrong with my computer." I thought I was good at harassing these people, but Nick
    took things to a whole new level.

    I'll bet it was funny.

    ... Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips.

    I guess she wasn't skirting the issue...but when asked if the girdle
    fit, she said "Of corset does". <G>

    Daryl

    ... Newspaper Headline: "Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over."
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)