• P.C. Ways Of Stupidity

    From Dennis Katsonis@1:124/5016 to Daryl Stout on Fri Sep 11 09:54:00 2020
    Daryl Stout wrote to All <=-

    Politically correct ways of saying someone "doesn't have it
    altogether":

    He never had a full box of crayons as a kid.

    A few clowns short of a circus.

    A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

    An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

    A few beers short of a six-pack.

    Dumber than a box of hair.

    A few peas short of a casserole.

    Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one box.

    The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

    One fruit loop shy of a bowl.

    One taco short of a combination plate.

    A few feathers short of a whole duck.

    All foam, no beer.

    The cheese slid off his cracker

    Body by Fisher, Brains by Mattel.

    Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

    Warning: Objects dumber than they appear.

    Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

    He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch along the way.

    An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

    As smart as bait.

    Chimney's clogged.

    Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

    Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

    Elevator doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.

    Forgot to pay his brain bill.

    Her sewing machines out of thread.

    His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

    His belt doesn't go thru all the loops.

    If he had another brain it would be lonely.

    Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

    No grain in the silo.

    Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

    Receiver is off the hook.

    Several nuts short of a full pouch.

    Skylight leaks a little.

    Slinky's kinked.

    Surfing in Nebraska

    Too much yardage between the goal posts.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

    The gates are down, the lights are flashing but there 'aint no train coming.

    ... Dennis Katsonis
    === MultiMail/Linux v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Linux
    * Origin: End Of The Line BBS - endofthelinebbs.com (1:124/5016)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Dennis Katsonis on Fri Sep 11 08:33:00 2020
    Dennis,


    The gates are down, the lights are flashing but there 'aint no train coming.

    Now, I've seen that literally happen...and when I do, I call
    the toll free number on the grade crossing signal box, to notify
    the railroad of the problem. In central Arkansas, it's Union
    Pacific, on the former Missouri Pacific Railroad corridor.

    In one case, it turned out to be that electricity was lost to
    the signals, so as a backup, the batteries kicked in, and
    activated the signals, lowering the gates. I was first in line,
    and being a railfan, I didn't mind...especially considering I
    wasn't in a hurry.

    Well, what Union Pacific did was put a "slow order" (15 mph)
    on all trains through the crossing...but the trains were
    allowed to increase their speed once through the crossing.

    One locomotive weighs at least 300 tons, and a fully loaded
    freight train can be in excess of 12,000 tons. Most vehicles
    are 1 to 2 tons...so, in short, it's no contest. The force
    created by a train hitting a vehicle is the same as you driving
    over a can of soda.

    As Operation Lifesaver (the organization promoting safety at
    highway grade crossings) notes, "Even if it's a tie...you lose".
    The coupler will come through the window, decapitating the
    driver, and obviously resulting in instant death. In one
    staged video, when the train hit the van, it caused the vehicle
    to catch fire.

    They would never seat me on a jury dealing with an incident
    at a railroad crossing. The crossbuck means "YIELD TO TRAINS".
    It takes far more inertia to stop a moving train (at least 1
    to 3 miles), than it does to start it moving from a dead stop.
    The laws of physics win every time.

    Daryl

    ... Try to beat a train to a railroad crossing?? You'll be DEAD WRONG.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Mon May 10 00:04:36 2021
    Politically correct ways of saying someone "doesn't have it altogether":

    He never had a full box of crayons as a kid.

    A few clowns short of a circus.

    A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

    An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

    A few beers short of a six-pack.

    Dumber than a box of hair.

    A few peas short of a casserole.

    Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one box.

    The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

    One fruit loop shy of a bowl.

    One taco short of a combination plate.

    A few feathers short of a whole duck.

    All foam, no beer.

    The cheese slid off his cracker

    Body by Fisher, Brains by Mattel.

    Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

    Warning: Objects dumber than they appear.

    Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

    He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch along the way.

    An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

    As smart as bait.

    Chimney's clogged.

    Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

    Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

    Elevator doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.

    Forgot to pay his brain bill.

    Her sewing machines out of thread.

    His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

    His belt doesn't go thru all the loops.

    If he had another brain it would be lonely.

    Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

    No grain in the silo.

    Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

    Receiver is off the hook.

    Several nuts short of a full pouch.

    Skylight leaks a little.

    Slinky's kinked.

    Surfing in Nebraska

    Too much yardage between the goal posts.
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)