No thanks on the snw or cold. . . I'm in t he tropical partof Canada (relatively speaking)
I typically get less snow each winter than Florida does! & I'm in
Canada!
I'm sad, as it'll be yerars before my grapefruits (white grapefruits)
are back on the market again, with the juice made thereof. . . I miss them. . .
Q: What do you have if you 4 apples and 2 oranges in one hand and 3
lemons and a grapefruit in the other hand?
A: extremely large hands
I asked my son how he did on his school report about Canada
He said he got an "eh".
Q: Why was the US mad at Canada for remaining part of the commonwealth?
A: Because being stuck with the land of the Angles is obtuse
Q: What kind of batteries do they use in Canada?
A: Triple Eh
No thanks on the snw or cold. . . I'm in t he tropical partof Canada (relatively speaking)
I prefer the cold weather...as it means no heat illness, no insects,
and no tornadoes.
I'm sad, as it'll be yerars before my grapefruits (white grapefruits) are back on the market again, with the juice made thereof. . . I miss them. . .
I never acquired a taste for grapefruit.
A: Because being stuck with the land of the Angles is obtuse
Maybe they should triangles for a hypoteneus (sp?).
Q: What kind of batteries do they use in Canada?
A: Triple Eh
Is that Huh in Triplicate??
I get cramped in too much clothing, so summer is great -- shorts &
nothing else!
Maybe they should triangles for a hypoteneus (sp?).
Close: hypotenuse.
Q: What kind of batteries do they use in Canada?
A: Triple Eh
Is that Huh in Triplicate??
More or less, 'tho' I find our "eh?" more elegant in speech; t
essentially invites the listener to join in the conversation. The Japanese use "ne?" the same way.
When I'm in a pub just south of me, in one Washington state's border
towns & a stranger asks if I'm Canadian, I ask how they know & they'll reply with a bunch of superfluous ehs, so I respound, "uh huuuuuuh, yuuuuup, uh huuuuh" :D
Q: How does a German confuse an English speaker?
A: Replies "9" to any oral math problem requiring "0" for an answer.
Spouses are like world wars.
You never refer to them as the "first" until there's a second.
Maybe they should triangles for a hypoteneus (sp?).
Close: hypotenuse.
At least I tried.
Sort of like Southern DOS -- Ya'll reckon?? (Yep/Nope).
Spouses are like world wars.
You never refer to them as the "first" until there's a second.
Never mind what's going on in the foxholes. :P
... What if someone's real name is a psuedonym??
George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-
Unsweetened white grapefruit juice was always my goto treat for a
drink.
A German soldier during World War II was embellishing the number of
troops he had with him
When the Allies thought it was just him, he claimed there were not 1
but 2. Then he changed his story to 3. Then he said 5, then 8, then 13, and finally 21. When the Allies made it to his position, they
discovered that it actually was just him.
I was actually heading off to enjoy t he weekend, but I wanted to ask
tyou for a copy of your train engineer poem you mentioned in an earlier message, if you still have it, please?
usedGeorge Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-
Unsweetened white grapefruit juice was always my goto treat for a drink.
If you drink alcohol, you'll appreciate a Salty Dog. Vodka and grapefruit juice, salted rim, wedge of grapefruit as a garnish. There was a bar I
to go to in Oakland, CA called Cafe Van Kleef that would squeeze a half a grapefruit into your glass when they made it. Doesn't get any fresher than that.
I just read a story about the Germans building fake wooden airfieldsduring
WW II to draw off the Allied bombers. They made wooden vehicles,airplanes,
hangars, and plowed a fake airfield.it.
The British waited until they were complete and dropped a wooden bomb on
George,earlier
I was actually heading off to enjoy t he weekend, but I wanted to ask tyou for a copy of your train engineer poem you mentioned in an
message, if you still have it, please?
Go to https://www.theweatherwonder.com/rxr.htm -- also there, is a PSA I did for Operation Lifesaver on Grade Crossing Safety.
George Pope wrote to Kurt Weiske <=-
I prefer a Greyhound (whiskey & grapefruit juice); I make them myself.
The other fruit drink I like is vodka with an 8:1 ratio of vodka:pure
lime juice (Nuclear Gimlet, my invention/name)
My only sympathies would be with passengers in the car & the engineer.
. .
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end
of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
myself.George Pope wrote to Kurt Weiske <=-
I prefer a Greyhound (whiskey & grapefruit juice); I make them
It seems the distilled part changes; out in California I've always known a Greyhound to be vodka and grapefruit juice.
I ordered a salty dog at a local bar and the bartender asked if I wantedgin
or vodka. Gin could be interesting, but the flavors tend to be subtle and would be overwhelmed by the grapefruit.
The other fruit drink I like is vodka with an 8:1 ratio of vodka:pure lime juice (Nuclear Gimlet, my invention/name)
When I did Atkins/Keto, I'd order a vodka on the rocks with a squeeze of lime juice. Probably the same ratio you describe.
Yet you said you order it as a Salty Dog?
I'm not a fan of gin. . . I like my whiskeys ('most any kind -- each
has their subtleties); I no longer drink it by the bottle (fifth as you call them; two-sixer as we call them);
My rule was alwaysd to keep the liquor neat & I never got sick (that &
I'd drink a lite of water before going to bed); 54 years old & never
been hung over, even though I used to drink a LOT!
If someone insisted I should mix my whiskey (healthier on the stomachg, lasts longer, whatever lame excuse) I'd say "Point the bottle at the
tap & introduce themn, then pour me 5 or 6 fingers in a rock glass,
neat, & I'm good.
Then he asked if I'd like a beer or soda as a chaser. I sighed loudly
& repeated myself (I hate doing that), really hitting the "neat" part;
a waitress saved him & said it was my usual.
Bud and Jim were a couple of Newfie drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Gander, NFLD. One day the airport was fogged in
and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Man,I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get
buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and
get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff no hangover, nothing. We
ought to do this more often."
Jim says, "Yeah, well there's just one thing... Have you farted yet?"
"No.....
"Well, DON'T. I'm in Yorkton". (Note: Yorkton is in Saskatchewan!)
to translate for my America friends. . .
* A Newfie is your hillbilly.
* Newfoundland is Maine
* Yorkton is Houston.
knownGeorge Pope wrote to Kurt Weiske <=-
It seems the distilled part changes; out in California I've always
rim.a Greyhound to be vodka and grapefruit juice.
Yet you said you order it as a Salty Dog?
A salty dog is a Greyhound with a grapefruit wedge garnish and a salted
inMy fave expewrience was when I was in the bar downstirs when I lived
lookeda hotel. I asked the new bartender for a triple Jack Daniels, neat.
He asked if I wanted ice, or a bit of water or coke (I was 20 &
whisky17); I repeated my order, emphasising "neat" a little stronger.
I've started adding a splash of water to a malt whisky. Filtered water, since our water is unnaturally hard around here. It helps open up the
nicely.enjoy
I have an old 18th century style rye whiskey that is much better with a splash - it helps lessen the alcohol hit on the taste buds and lets me
the flavor more than if I drink it neat.
Islay whiskys are the exception - I prefer them neat.
loudlyThen he asked if I'd like a beer or soda as a chaser. I sighed
part;& repeated myself (I hate doing that), really hitting the "neat"
15a waitress saved him & said it was my usual.
I, as always, upon firs arriving & getting my first whiskey after a
athour day of work, shot it staight back & swallowed it, then I looked
orthe baertenderm who was watching me like I was a science experiment, "On second thought, please do give me some thing to chase it."
He smirked until I finished, "Pour me another of the same"
This one I took & sat down with, to nurse half the night with a pint
tipstwo, that I'd get from the waitresses as I felt they deserved the
ofmore!
Good times -- it was my bedtime routine on my 15 hour days (two fulltime physical jobs)
The other fruit drink I like is vodka with an 8:1 ratio of vodka:pure lime juice (Nuclear Gimlet, my invention/name)
When I did Atkins/Keto, I'd order a vodka on the rocks with a squeeze
itlime juice. Probably the same ratio you describe.
It's a solid drink, eh? Just a hint of the lime, & you feel the kick right away, when you need to relax. . .
I've never done Atkins or Keto, but doesn't Atkins forbid alcohol (as it's pure carb?); I find it easier to accept my fat carcass the way
Inis.
Only my wife's opinion matters & she likes me like this. . . :D
ok, humour. . .here we go. . .ObJoke. . .
Bud and Jim were a couple of Newfie drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Gander, NFLD. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Man,I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
Jim says, "Yeah, well there's just one thing... Have you farted yet?"
"No.....
"Well, DON'T. I'm in Yorkton". (Note: Yorkton is in Saskatchewan!)
to translate for my America friends. . .
* A Newfie is your hillbilly.
* Newfoundland is Maine
* Yorkton is Houston.
Your friend,
<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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It reminds me of a joke where a guy goes into a bar, and asks if they
have any gin. He's told "Only oxygen and nitrogen". <G>
My late wife would have a "Rum And Coke" on rare occasions when she felt "puny". It was 1% Jamaican White Rum, and 99% Coca-Cola. It'd knock her
out (she was also narcoleptic and diabetic), but she was fine the next morning. That was the ONLY alcoholic beverage she'd drink...and after
losing a close friend in college to a drunk driver, I was content with
that.
On another note, she got me partial to dachshunds. Now, for any dogs,
you do NOT give them chocolate...especially "bakers chocolate", as it's poison to them, and it'd kill them. However, you CAN give them things
like green beans and carrots. For dachshunds, they think the beans are
a treat, and it helps them lose weight. This couple friend of mine (who
are "living together"), have a dachshund with "a broad butt". <G>
I believe that the Apostle Paul told Timothy in the New Testament that
"a little wine is good for the stomach". But, he also noted "Don't be
drunk with wine, for it's an excess...but be filled with the Holy Spirit". Ironically, if I remember right, Foster Brooks played a drunk character,
but he actually never touched alcoholic beverages. He was one of the characters in the movie "The Villain", with Kirk Douglas, Ann Margaret, Arnold Schwarzenagger, Paul Lynde, and Mel Tillis, among others. Kirk Douglas was the human epitome of Wile E. Coyote. <G>
I thought about going into a restaurant, and saying "the usual". But,
one can easily get burned out from eating the same thing day after day.
However, right now, I can't afford to be eating out every day of the
week, as my brother is doing (I don't know where he's getting the money). While I prefer to eat at home, I eat on the cheap...chicken nuggets,
lunch meat sandwiches, and diet green tea citrus. However, I'm starting
to get burned out on all that, so I'm just eating one meal a day...never mind that most days, I don't have much of an appetite. I eat my big
meal at lunch, and I'm good until the next day. I started that when I
became caregiver for my Mom (who passed away nearly 2 years ago), and
never got out of it.
InBud and Jim were a couple of Newfie drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Gander, NFLD. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Man,I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
Jim says, "Yeah, well there's just one thing... Have you farted yet?"
"No.....
"Well, DON'T. I'm in Yorkton". (Note: Yorkton is in Saskatchewan!)
to translate for my America friends. . .
* A Newfie is your hillbilly.
* Newfoundland is Maine
* Yorkton is Houston.
So much for jet lag...that was one heck of a tail wind. <BG>
Daryl
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Our chihuahua likes potatoes & carrots -- it's all we give him, as he's allergic to anything with protein, & all treats are beef, chicken, or corn- based. . . :P
A little wine for your stomach's sake, but not the whole fleeping bottle(or skin)!
I point out how at Cana, Jesus turned the water not just into wine, but high quality strong wine!
Couple days a weekwhen woriking at A&W, I'd stiop at Burger King on the
ay home & have a double cheesburger, flame-grilled, as a bedtime snack.
As soon as they saw me enter the door on the west side f tghe store, they'd drop down two patties for me; by the time I got to the register, they had my burger in a bag, ready for payment (I paid out of my day's
tip money)
Nothing wrong with determining your own unique moderation levels.
I had a coworker ask "How many burgers can one cow make?"
I look him dead in the eyes and replied, stonefaced
"None. Their hooves can't form patties."
A man walks into a restaurant and orders a hamburger. Upon receiving
the burger, the man says to the burger, “Burger, can you help me with
my urinary tract infection?”.
“No”, replies the burger, “but I can tell you you’re going to need an umbrella later.”
“Oh, sorry”, said the man, “I thought you were a meaty urologist”.
Q: What’s the difference between a good burger and a shooting star?
A: The burger is very meaty, but the other is a little meteor.
I think of the joke where the priest gets pulled over for erraticdriving,
and he's apparently drunk. When the cop sees the bottles, and smells winesaid
on the priest's breath, he asks him what was in the bottles. The priest
"water". When the cop asked "How do you explain the wine breath??", the priest said "OMG, He did it again!!". <G>
theCouple days a weekwhen woriking at A&W, I'd stiop at Burger King on
snack.ay home & have a double cheesburger, flame-grilled, as a bedtime
I prefer the burgers from Burger King, as they're not "swimming in grease". But the flame broiled taste sets my acid reflux off something fierce. There
is an A&W in Ravenna, Ohio, near Kent. The one that was in Hot Springs, Arkansas, closed down years ago.
I remember I had regular customers, who'd order the same thing everytime.
Nothing wrong with determining your own unique moderation levels.
Especially when you don't have the funds to form it.
I like what cattle auctioneer Blaine Lotz said at one auction..."Let's turn this beef into cash". <G> His Mom, Carla, was an auctioneer, and
that's where he got his talent from. He did win the world championship
a few years back, and he works a lot at the sale barn in Emporia, Kansas.
A man walks into a restaurant and orders a hamburger. Upon receiving the burger, the man says to the burger, “Burger, can you help me with my urinary tract infection?”.
“No”, replies the burger, “but I can tell you you’re going to need an umbrella later.”
“Oh, sorry”, said the man, “I thought you were a meaty urologist”.
You have too much time on your hands.
"water". When the cop asked "How do you explain the wine breath??", the priest said "OMG, He did it again!!". <G>
One of my faves!
Not only gas was in the tank that day!
After a week, I'm wjheeling on my way to my volunteer job, wshen I hear shouting -- one of the owners, on a bike, saw me & came to tell me
they'd bought a 24-pack of just grapefruit, with 16 bottles hidden in
the back cooler for my priority use!
Kangaroo 911: “What’s your emergency?”
Kangaroo: “I can’t find my children”
Kangaroo 911: “Did you check your pockets?”
Kangaroo: “Oh nevermind.”
Bob: "Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’."
The local Kroger would stock up on Hershey's chocolate drink (my late
Mom loved that). When they asked me why I hadn't bought any, I said that
she had passed away in a nursing home.
Or, the kangaroo looks down the guy's pants, and says "Boy!! Your
baby is sure small!!". He must've been thinking of me <TMI>. But, in
the hospital, those portable male urinals are a JOKE. You get more
on the bed than in the bottle. And, if they have you on Lasix, they
better bring you several, as you'll fill one up in less than five
minutes!! <been there, done that>.
... Newspaper Headline: "Drunk gets 9 months in Violin Case."
When this happens, you know you're valued, personally, not just as "a customer"; they noticed YOU were coming in less.
I get asked, because of my genetic pot belly if I'm pregnant; I reply
in the same vein of humour & say, "Yup, with a baby elephant; want to
see the trunk?"
... Newspaper Headline: "Drunk gets 9 months in Violin Case."
Tight quarters! (drunk two-bit coins?)
Do you know when AI is ironic? When a computer inquires if I am a
robot.
What is even more ironic than when someone wakes up tired? If someone
dies in the living room.
Russia, long before the Sovet Revolution, had a rule forbidding irony being used by any but licensed jesters.
They would exile the perpetrators to a deep pit in Siberia
("technically" not executing the person); this pit, defined by order of the emperor, became known as the Tsar Chasm.
Q: How is 'Communism' one of the most ironic terms?
A: It is capitalized.
Do you know a funny irony in grammar-related language?
It lies in "hyphenated" and "non-hyphenated" words.
Q: What are the ten things that I hate the most?
A: Lists, repeating myself, lists, irony, trickery.
I no longer shop there, as Wal-Mart has a better selection. Plus, I can get the items delivered here. I need to prepare a grocery list, and go online. The delivery fee is equivalent to the gas I'd spend driving out there and back, trying to find a parking place, then walking in the store, looking for everything, then waiting forever and a day to checkout (with
the registers usually crashing). I'm not carrying $300 in cash around for
my shopping.
I get asked, because of my genetic pot belly if I'm pregnant; I reply in the same vein of humour & say, "Yup, with a baby elephant; want to see the trunk?"
Yep. But, I reply "I need a shed for my tool". <G>
Hanging is too good for a punster artist. He should be drawn and quoted.
Do you know when AI is ironic? When a computer inquires if I am a robot.
It may be coming to that (sigh!).
That's like the cartoon, where the guy is trying to get a nap on theflowers,
couch in the living room. His wife (with a shrill, whiney voice) walks
in, and asks "Are you asleep??!!". He growls, "No, dead. Leave the
and get out!!". <G>
I saw a T-shirt awhile back that said:
"Sarcastic Remark coming in 3...2...1...". <G>
I like Victor Borge's "Phonetic Punctuation".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJiHlt8NRqk
Q: What are the ten things that I hate the most?
A: Lists, repeating myself, lists, irony, trickery.
You have too much thyme on your hands...you need to spice it up a bit.
I use delivery from one of our natoinal grocery chains. $4 delivery fee
& they often get it done & in mny hands in under an hour! Otherwise
it's a 3-4 hour outing to do it, costing $20 in cab fare home with the groceries!
I generally use the self checkout if I go in person, just to get
through it & be on my way. . . (& the regular checkout lanes are too narrow for my wheelchair)
I shop at the next door plaza, too, especially the butcher, who has quality meats & usually knocks off 20% on my orders! (nice guy)
The local, next door, drugstore has been bought by the same national
chain I above mentioned, so the brands are at both now. . . :)
If need quick milk, cream, or cheese, the drugstore works fine!
The produce farmer's market is expensive, but good quality. . .
I get delivery from Wal-Mart. I have enough groceries to last until the end of the week...but I want to wait until after my cardiologist visit on Thursday for a chemical stress test and echocardiogram, along with blood work, to order more items. Plus, with shopping online (I get a 1 hourwindow
to do it), I can take my time, and do it from the comfort of my home.it.
I had wondered why I was so winded after moving groceries...now, that I found out that I have atrial flutter/atrial fibrillation, that explains
wouldI generally use the self checkout if I go in person, just to get through it & be on my way. . . (& the regular checkout lanes are too narrow for my wheelchair)
If I don't have a lot of items, I'll use the self checkout...but it's
hard for me to stand in one place for very long.
I shop at the next door plaza, too, especially the butcher, who has quality meats & usually knocks off 20% on my orders! (nice guy)
That's true.
The local, next door, drugstore has been bought by the same national chain I above mentioned, so the brands are at both now. . . :)
Might as well keep them together.
If need quick milk, cream, or cheese, the drugstore works fine!
Reminds me of a song by Dick Feller..."Making The Best Of A Bad Situation". There were 3 situations in the song.
1) When the husband goes off to work, the wife stays at home. More often than not, she's paid a visit by the milkman. Well, the husband says he
be concerned, but they're never out of dairy products. <G>she
2) An alligator wrestler ends up getting his ear bit off, and when told he can never wear a hat (it'll fall off his head), and he can't ever be a gypsy, as
he has no place to put a gold earring...the guy just replied "Huh??". :P
3) A husband worked so hard and was so stressed, that he snapped, and thought he was a chicken. He roosts in the bush by the side of the house, and when his wife was asked about getting him a doctor to make him well,
said "He don't eat much chicken feed, and all the pecking in the ground doesn't hurt"...then adds "Heaven knows we can use the eggs!!". <BG>(this
It's at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XH-bV6g3X8
He also did a deal called "The Credit Card Song". A guy gets this card, and charges a few items, and a month later gets a huge bill for $3200
was recorded in 1974). Well, he calls the card issuer, and says "This bill sayslie...
I owe more money than I've ever seen"...but is told "Computers do not
send us the money".they've
Well, he grabs the computer card, and ignores the deal of "Do Not Bend, Fold, Staple, Or Mutilate"...and he throws it on the floor, stomps on it, punches out
a few more holes, staples it, and then drives his car over it...adding "Stick That Up Your Computer". <G>
He sends the card back, and gets a note, saying "We've run your card through our machine, and it tells us you've OVERPAID YOUR BILL", and
encloseddone,
a $9000 check, saying "We Appreciate Your Business".
So, he calls the card issuer back, tells them what the computer had
and adds "Remember, you're the one, who told me that 'Computers Do Not Lie'".
It's at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRhxu-wbCJQ
The produce farmer's market is expensive, but good quality. . .
I look at restaurants the same way. If the food and service is good, I don't mind paying a bit more.
Daryl
... I'm not deaf...I'm ignoring you.
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