Hello Everybody,

Some folks never bother waiting for what the president has to say,
doing things pre-emptively -

The Onion

NEWS IN BRIEF
Man Just Buying One Of Every Cleaning Product In Case Trump Announces
It’s Coronavirus Cure

3/25/20 2:18PM • SEE MORE: CORONAVIRUS

EVANSTON, WY—Throwing bottles of bleach, ammonia, and Drano into a cart
at his local grocery store, area man Troy Mitchell was reportedly
stocking up on one of every cleaning product he could find Wednesday in
case President Donald Trump announces it is a coronavirus cure. “I got
toilet bowl cleaner, carpet cleaner, Swiffer WetJet refills—you name it—just so me and my family will be ready if the president announces
one of these things can treat Chinese virus,” said Mitchell,
indiscriminately throwing containers of laundry detergent, Scrubbing
Bubbles, grout whitener, steel wool, Febreze, Tilex mold and mildew
remover, and laptop screen wipes into the cart, the contents of which
rang up to $2,513.67 at checkout. “I’m not getting caught without some
oven degreaser should Trump say it’s going to save us, so I better go
ahead and grab me a bottle. After this, I’m hitting the hardware store
to pick up a 5-gallon bucket of roof sealant to make sure I’m prepared
in the event that turns out to be what gets rid of the Wuhan. Could
just be 10 or 20 squirts of Windex into each nostril. You never know
what might work in a pinch!” At press time, neighbors confirmed
Mitchell had been found unresponsive on the floor of his bathroom with
several empty aerosol cans of Rust-Oleum wax-and-tar-removing solvent
by his head.

[The Onion publishes satire, not real news. Or maybe predictions
of what is yet to come?]

Now for what the president actually said almost a month later -

“Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, if it's ultraviolet or
very powerful light. And I think he said that hasn't been checked but
he was going to test it. Then I said what it if you brought the light
inside of the body which you could do either through the skin or some
other way and I think you said you were going to test that, too. Sounds interesting. Then I see the disinfectant, knocks it out in one minute.
Is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, or
almost a cleaning because you see it gets on the lungs. That you're
gonna have to use medical doctors. Because it sounds interesting. The
way the light killed that in one minute is pretty powerful.”
~ Donald J. Trump, 4/23/2020, live and on camera

--Lee

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Make Sure Your Next Erection Is In Safe Hands

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