book: lessons from cats for surviving fascism
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All on Sun Dec 7 09:39:00 2025
An experpt (p15 and p16) from a very funny book,
Lessons from Cats for Surviving Fascism | Hardcover
Stewart Reynolds
Grand Central Publishing
Humor / Form - Parodies / Literary Criticism / American / Self-
Help / Personal Growth - Happiness
9781538778005
"
Cats despise collars.
Cats hate wearing anything.
Sure, they might look cute for a moment - maybe even Instagram-
worthy-but deep down, every cat knows what a collar really
represents: control.
The tiny bell jingling with every step? Surveillance.
The snug fit? Domination.
Cats aren't fooled, and neither should we be.
Fascists love collars, metaphorically speaking. They're
obsessed with finding ways to make people wear them, often by
dressing them up as something "necessary" or even
"fashionable." "Oh, it's for your own good!" they chirp,
jingling the societal equivalent of a little bell. "Look how
it makes you a better citizen!" But much like a cat, you
should pause, stare at the collar, and then swat it off the
table with a look of utter disdain.
Fascists, let's be honest, are a bit like overzealous dog
owners who think every living being needs to be leashed. "Why
aren't they wearing their collar?" they demand, clutching their
red ball caps. "How will we know where they're going or what
they're doing?" The thought of someone walking freely through
life, uncollared, untethered, and entirely unpredictable, sends
them into a spiral of existential dread.
Cats, however, refuse to be restrained. Even when they
grudgingly wear a collar, they'll spend every waking moment
plotting its removal.
You can practically hear them thinking, Oh, you believe this
little pink band of oppression will stop me? And that's the
energy we need to channel. It's not just about rejecting
literal collars - it's about rejecting anything that tries to
disguise control as convenience. A bell around your neck so the
fascists can always find you? No, thank you.
The funny thing is, fascists aren't even good at making collars
look appealing. Their idea of a "cute accessory" is usually
something drab and joyless, like a uniform or a badge that
screams, "I have no personality!" And yet, they can't
understand why people don't line up to wear them. You can
almost picture the confusion: "Why don't they like the collar?
It's so practical! It's so efficient!" Meanwhile, the cats of
the world are lounging in their collar-free glory, silently
laughing at the absurdity of it all.
The trick is to question every collar you're handed, no matter
how harmless it seems. Is it really just a harmless accessory,
or is it a way to keep you in line?
Cats know the answer instinctively.
That's why they'd rather dart across busy streets, untagged and
unbothered, than let someone slap a leash on them. It's not
just about freedom - it's about the principle of the thing.
So, the next time someone tries to slip a metaphorical collar
around your neck - whether it's a rule, a label, or a demand
for conformity - channel your inner cat. Give them that
signature feline look of disdain that says, "I don't think so,
moron," and walk away, preferably in the direction of a sunny
windowsill where you can nap undisturbed.
Because at the end of the day, life isn't meant to be lived
with a bell around your neck and someone else holding the
leash. Be uncollared undisturbed.
Be free.
"
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